Kenneth Madden

Monthly Archives: June 2011

Life is boundless

what is sought, ultimately, underneath, behind and in our myriad ways of seeking fulfillment, is this. Just simply what appears to be happening, just simply being alive. It remains hidden from you by already being everything, it hides by being too obvious for the mind. It is boundlessness and in it the game of being a separate individual plays out unrestricted. There is also a fullness in the game of ignoring the obvious and a fullness in the invitation to see that the game is only apparently real. In other words the game of being ‘Me’ is not restricted and the invitation to see that there is no ‘me’ and never was, is constant.

It’s a stunning paradox that you are in fact searching for you own absence. Something you will never, obviously find. The resolution is not in progressive endeavor towards some goal, state, experience etc. In other words the answer is not, as we have been told all our lives, in working really hard to get somewhere, it’s not around the next corner. This is the resolution, what already is, simply what appears to be happening, is the boundless aliveness that we seek, that we experienced ourselves as separate to and sought so wildly and wonderfully, so gently, lovingly and painfully for. It can be seen, now, that there never was an answer, as there is no room for a question. It appeared to come from a a space, a time, thrown up from a separate self that never was.

This message, which is no ones, can resonate somewhere. It is beyond understanding, it is uncompromising in that it offers you nothing and it is total unconditional love in that it sees ‘you’ as already all that is, already whole, complete and boundless. This is not a spiritual message or a philosophical one. If it is heard as a concept that can be used or incorporated into your life, then it is not heard.

Tilly

Life Tilly(ing).

Little Skellig

Knowing of the world can only happen when there is someone separate to it, in time and space, to do so. In actuality, time and space are thrown up from a sense of feeling like a separate self which is only apparently real. When that sense of feeling separate collapses it is seen that there was only ever wholeness and there is only an amazing adventure of life in free-fall. The big joke is that you are already what you look for. There is no space or time as there are no separate objects, so the world could never be known and never needed to be. It is too immediate to be known, it is simply already this, and this is all that is, this is everything.

Tilth

I sat with him daily. He shared with me memories of
working land with horse and plough
His hands trembled but it wasn’t hard
to imagine them guiding horse and coulter
in a furrow he’d get lost in.

I left a copy of Heaney’s poem on his bedside locker,
another memory of turning ground. Later he thanked
me and told me he liked it, told me he had started falling
over, then falling over again until he had landed here
confused, on crisp white linen
while they scurried round him doing.

Things like take his temperature.
He couldn’t see them dance around
his diagnosis, always waiting for some results.
One morning, I was told he’d cried
all night after the doctor told him.
But he’d have no hand in harrowing,
so back again to leave him with with a gentle lie:
‘There’s always hope.’

I sat with him for the last few days
and the feeling sat with me,
that hopes a thief that keeps us tightly bound
in he that hears the sweet soft dying sound.

Note. There is no you that feelings sit with ,clearly. There are only feelings. There is not, and never was a separate you to have feelings although it certainly feel as though there is. An aspect of feelings like a contracted separate self is there is hope that this can be better, this isn’t quite it, it’ll be better tomorrow, next week, when…. The individual moves in that energy which is linear and in time, moving forward in hopeful anticipation. The stunning realization is that there is no start or end, no birth or death, only apparently and This, what appears to be happening, is all everything, it is complete boundless wholeness and that is what you are and always have been. It is so simple that it remains hidden, so ordinary that it’s missed and yet so stunning that it is totally and utterly beyond any effort to describe it. This message is not heard by ‘you’, it has nothing what so ever to do with what you perceive as being ‘you’, or how you are. For you are already whole and complete, already what you seek.

Life

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”
Douglas Adams, (Marvin the Paranoid Android) The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

A fine Balance.

We try to balance in the middle, to occupy the middle ground. As an apparent separate self, of course, we are the middle ground. We are the subject to which everything is object, we are the the centre of the universe. We play in that space in totally and beautifully unique ways and there is an intelligence that informs us that the more expansive this centre is the more balanced we’ll be in the middle of it. So we push and expand into the unknown, out of our comfort zone to widen the boundary. We sense that the more open minded we are about new experiences and the less fixed and rigid we are in our central position, the more fulfilled we’ll be.

This seems to be the case, for a while. We have simply made the prison cell more comfortable. There is nothing right or wrong with that, if you are going to occupy a cell you may as well make it comfortable. The difficulty or impossibility is that the boundary we push at is only apparently real. There is no boundary and what experiences itself as separate is in actuality the whole appearing as separate not an actual separate entity at all.

No matter how many connections the apparent separate self makes, no matter how full it endeavors to become, no matter how centered, there will always be a longing for and a question about what seems to be missing, what seems to be lost. Any fulfillment for the individual will only be transient and in what appears to be happening is a constant and open invitation to what is ultimately sought.

This is what is sought. Being. What appears to have been lost was never lost at all, what appears to have been lost is the whole, from the moment there arose a contracted sense of feeling separate to it. But it is wholeness that plays the game of being separate to itself and plays out the game of yearning to be whole again.

What seems to be trying to balance in the centre can fall, free fall into this, into what already is and laugh at the seeing that this has always been home. Along with the barrage of messages telling you how to improve yourself and your situation, telling you how you should be and what you are lacking- there is now an uncompromising alternative that suggests another possibility. This message is no ones message and it radically sings without agenda or aim- that you are already what you look for, you are already home. Simply Being is what was looked for, simply already this. What a clever way to hide!

I

One

(Not two)
No me, no you

Just This,
Being
Immediately this, now.

So simple.
So so so so so simple, it’s rejected again
Till the veil of me lifts like a mist.

And life is new now and now and now
Free as it always was.